Nolan and I never get any 'real time' to reconnect during the week. With the kids' stuff, the house to run, classes, and work- by the time we get it all done- it's usually 2 am around here. Then it's time plop into bed and get up at 6 or 7 am the next day and do it all again. We've started a little routine to at least try to get a bit of face time in. Our 'us' night is Sunday evenings.
Now, our date nights aren't grandiose spectacles of wine, strawberries, Barry Manilow, and candles. It's usually more like us sharing an hour or two to talk, then maybe catch up on a show we both love- like Monk or Doctor Who. We also try to go to bed around the same time, talk some more, and get a decent night of sleep.
It's wildly romantic, I know. But, sometimes, just the chance to talk and send quiet time together is needed far more than an expensive dinner and showers of flowers and diamonds. The thing I need the most in my own marriage is to feel connected to my husband.
We try to talk about things that happened during the week, news in areas that are of common interest us, and laughter is always a part of the equation. We try to keep our talk about the work week, school, and the kids to a minimum and just focus on us for a few minutes. It's refreshing to be reminded that "HEY! We're adults who have common interests and are still interested in talking and being around each other!"
We could make it more romantic, I suppose- pour some wine, light some candles, all that jazz. But in reality, I just like an evening of holding hands and talking quietly. It refreshes me more than anything else. The beginning of our relationship was all about talking to get to know each other and establish our base. Thus, when I want to really reconnect, talking is what I look for. It's simple and reaffirming on a number of levels.
So, take a night of the week when the kiddos get to bed early and the week is relatively not going to interfere with some 'you time'. Sit down, turn on something to listen to, get creative and do the wine thing if you'd like, and just TALK. Talk about you guys, whats going on with you See if it ends with a kiss and feeling a little more closeness for both of you.