Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I'm Trying Not To Blink in My Over-Busy Life

Things these days are kinda wild around the DeWitt house.

I am (obviously) still your Elegant Mommy blogger, marketer, website lady, and all-around stuff-doer (just not usually in the store). I also work as a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor part time (usually I do that outside the home), and I now have a full clientele of doula clients for the first time since adding little Miss Ember to our family (back to life on call here in a week or so). I edit my husband's books and help with sales for that. 

We recently started homeschool again with the big kids.

I lead a group of beautiful young moms here in our community through my church.

Nursing the babe while editing my hubby's latest book
My handsome hubby has several speaking and selling engagements set up this fall as an author of some amazing books (I'm currently editing his latest book), and in addition to that he is getting more and more hours at his job and will be going full time in the near future.

And on top of it all, the baby is very quickly turning into a toddler - yikes!

This has been my view - she's walking all over!
She has been taking steps for several months now. It's been in the last couple weeks, though, that she's "gotten" it. She had an "aha" moment a few days before my brother's wedding a few weeks ago and has basically just gone for it. She pretty much starts walking wherever she goes and when she loses her balance will crawl the rest of the way. She is losing her balance later and later.......she's getting this whole walking thing down!

So, as we are busy on top of busy, there are some things that I have been thinking about lately, and I'm guessing some of you can relate.

1. Babies are simply amazing. Ok, so maybe I knew this already, but sometimes it really just strikes home, ya know? Knowing that this remarkable little person started off as just a couple cells a year and a half ago is nothing short of a miracle. She is a real human being, has a personality all her own (a pretty strong personality at that), and is finding her place in this family and the world. It's such a delight to get to watch. She is walking all over the place, is super lovey/kiss-y, and *always* wants to "help" mommy and daddy with dishes, laundry, etc (i.e. really likes to throw stuff on the floor)

2. Five year old boys are the best. Since becoming a big brother almost a whole year ago, Porter has seriously come "into his own." He has totally blossomed as a sweet human being and he's just simply an all-around good person. He is my little helper who loves toads, worms, getting really dirty (as I type this he is making mud puddles to jump in), and most of all, dinosaurs. Currently he has a whole herd of them that he takes almost everywhere and does his best to keep out of his baby sister's hands and mouth (usually unsuccessfully, by the way).

3. Seven year old second grade girls are too grown up. At least mine is. Our Miss V is so sweet and kind. She makes a new friend everyplace she goes. She would rather read, ride her bike, or swim more than almost anything in the world, and she has a heart of gold. She is our little encourager (always helping Porter with his sight-words in school and helping Ember accomplish anything that she is trying to do). She is my little mini-me and I seriously don't know what I would do without her - she is joy encompassed in a person.

4. Being a mom who has 537 different things going on in her life is really difficult. I usually feel like I have a multitude of "balls in the air" that if I step out of line or lose my balance, or you know - drop one, my entire everything will collapse. Because of that, I have felt like I'm not the mother that my amazing kiddos deserve. I feel like I have no idea how I can possibly get through this season in life without permanently scarring one of them or making them feel like I value my work more than I value them. I feel like even though my marriage and family is stronger than ever, I don't spend even close to enough time, nor do I give it adequate energy......mostly because I don't have any.

5. My family loves me unconditionally. Even though mommy doesn't have enough time to give them, and I'm tired most of the time, and I'm not at their disposal nearly as much as I used to be, they make me feel like a million dollars as soon as I walk back through the door. They understand that even though mommy is busy, I love them more than anything in this world and every spare second I have will be spent with them. Do they wish it was more? Of course (you know I do!). But they don't complain or whine or anything. And besides that, for now, they have their awesome daddy to fill in the slack that I bring....so, they are getting extra daddy time and are completely understanding of less mommy time for now.

6. I am SO glad that this will only be for a season. I have no idea how long I will be doing all that I'm doing. What I do know, is that it for sure won't be forever. I won't always have so little time to spend with my kiddos. I won't always have so much going on that I can't even remember what shoe size they wear. I won't always have so many things to juggle. But for now I do, and that's ok. 

I used to answer the well-meaning "how are you doing?" questions with a very flippant and not-thought-out "oh, you know, busy." kind of answer. I laugh at that answer now. From this point forward I will be much more thoughtful before using that word. Am I busy now? Oh, heavens yes. But life is always busy. In every stage of life, in every season I've been busy....they've all just been different kinds of busy.

For now I want to just focus on the time I actually do have. I'll continue to do my jobs well and give them everything I have, but when someone asks how I am doing I'm going to respond with something more like "enjoying my amazing life and time with my family, how are you?". Because that's what all of this is really about anyway....being with my family and loving watching the wonderful people our kiddos are growing into.
The joys of our world
I don't want to blink because I know it will be over, so instead of focusing on my busyness, I'm going to focus on them. These precious beings that God has given to me to mother while we are on this earth.

(And for now I'm going to try and not worry about what's going to happen when Randall goes to work full time......I know God will work it all out, so I'm leaving it up to Him.)

If you are OVERbusy like me, I pray that you are able to find some kind of balance and life in it. I know the struggle - I'm right here with you, but family and kiddos are WAY too important to not have our focus.

Hang in there mama - you, too, will get through this and you'll be better for it and stronger once you do!

Much love (from the trenches)


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