Monday, February 3, 2014

Parenting "KnowItAlls"

We all have them in our lives.

Maybe were one once.

They are out there, and pretty much no matter who you are, you will deal with them in some way or another. A parenting-knowitall.

I admit. I used to be one {hangs head in shame}. I used to be the friend who thought I knew it all about parenting, and who used to think "holy cow, I can't believe she just did *that* to her kid(s)!" Though I rarely said anything, I was pretty high-and-mighty in my own mind.

"I will NEVER do THAT when I have kids"

"I will NEVER say THAT to my kids"

"I will ALWAYS be THAT to and for my kids"

Yep. I knew it all.


Now that I have kids of my own and they are growing up, I feel like I've had my fair share of "knowitalls" to deal with. Sometimes their advice is solicited, but more often than not, it's given to me whether or not I've asked for it, let alone want it. I have several people in my life who are very happy to tell me what they think about things that I've chosen as our kids' mom, or decisions that my husband and I have chosen as their parents. Most of the time I've been able to just let it go - roll off my back - don't worry about it.

Other times not so much.

There's been a couple things that have been said to me recently that I'm really not ok with - they've been more like "scoldings" in fact. Things that are really nobody's business but mine and my husband's. The kids are ours. Nobody else's. I know the kids better than anyone on the face of the planet. I know them better than my family, better than my friends, and certainly better than some stranger who's never met them.

My husband and I have made decisions for our kids mostly based on our parenting views based on how we were raised (both the good and the bad taken into account), research, and most importantly our gut instincts. I believe that God gave instincts specifically related to our kids, and if you follow that instinct you won't go wrong. One piece of advice I wish I had gotten sooner was to follow that instinct. We wouldn't have made nearly so many mistakes along the way if we had followed it.

So, to anyone out there who gives me unwanted parenting "advice/scolding me for practices that we choose", here's what I want you to know: You can medicate, discipline, love, punish, train, school, and spend time with your child however you want to. I won't tell you otherwise unless you ask me. I appreciate the respect from you to do the same.

Do you have some parenting-knowitalls in your life? Feel free to vent/share your stories in comments!


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