Friday, March 15, 2013

They Come First

So, the past week we have been sick. Yes, it's been the same thing that's been going around...fevers, aches, super-tired, coughs, congestion, etc, etc. We are finally all starting to feel better, though the kids are still coughing more than normal and I've still got some dumb plugged up sinuses. Bleh. Other than that, though, we are on the mend.

During the time when the kids were feeling their worst, I had to check myself often. Since I have the flexibility and awesomeness of working from home, I also have the challenge of balancing it all. Sometimes I have a difficult time putting the computer away and just being with the kids - reading to them, snuggling with them, playing, coloring, etc, etc. It's really easy to just work all. the. time. I mean, there's *always* something to do, and it's just RIGHT THERE. **sigh**. Sometimes it seems like if I'm not on my computer, I'm on my phone, or at my sewing machine, or doing laundry, or dishes, or....take your pick of things I could be doing instead of spending time with the kids.

Well, that didn't fly this week. They *needed* me. I didn't have a choice, and I took my job as their mommy very very seriously. I took care of them. I snuggled with them as much as they wanted. I watched movies with them. And I was available.

Now, at this point I feel the need to clarify. I don't ignore my kids. I just know that sometimes I get wrapped up in stuff and don't give them all the attention I want to (or that they want me to). I mean, they are my precious miracles, and I love them more than anything on this earth. I don't want to miss their growing up. I don't want to miss being able to teach them something, encourage them, show them something, play with them, or answer a question for them.

Pretty recently I made a re-commitment to myself and to them that I would purpose to spend more time with them every single day. I've done pretty good with it, I think. We have dance parties in the kitchen, we color together, I showed Vienna how to cut fabric, we clean out the dishwasher and pick up the living room together, and most of all, I had decided that if they have a question or need to talk to me about something - anything - I would stop what I was doing and either answer their question or ask them to remember what they have to say and we'll talk about it when I'm done with what I'm doing (if it's something that can't be interrupted).

It's tough! Being a mom is tough! It doesn't matter if you are a Stay at Home Mom, Work at Home Mom, or a Work out of the Home Mom - Especially in this day and age where there are SO MANY distractions - technology, kids' lessons, a hundred different activities, school, a gazillion things on your plate. I know I just have to remind myself that they are the most important job I have right now. They come first. Everything else is just details and can wait.

I saw this on facebook awhile back, and unfortunately I didn't write down who wrote it, shared it, or where it came from. If any of you know, please let me know so I can attribute it correctly! I think it very eloquently says what I need to remind myself of daily. My husband and my kids come first. Period.

Dear Mom On the iPhone,
I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.
But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..

Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her. 

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way. 

He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.

Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing. 

Talk to her. Tell her about the clouds, Mommy. The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize…Your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there. I am not saying it’s not ok to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User Beware!

Play time at the park will be over before you know it.

The childhood of your children will be gone before you know it.

They won’t always want to come to the park with you, Mommy. They won’t always spin and twirl to make their new dress swish, they won’t always call out, “WATCH ME!”

There will come a point when they stop trying, stop calling your name, stop bothering to interrupt your phone time. 

Because they know…

You’ve shown them, all these moments, that the phone is more important than they are. They see you looking at it at while waiting to pick up brother from school, during playtime, at the dinner table, at bedtime…..

I know that’s not true, Mommy.

I know your heart says differently.

But your kids can’t hear your words, Mommy. Your actions are screaming way too loudly. 

May our eyes rest upon those we love, first and foremost, and may everything else fall away in the wonderful, noisy, sticky-fingered glory of it all.

So, I've gotta go...Vienna needs me to braid her hair and Porter wants to snuggle. I'll catch ya'll later.


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