Monday, May 13, 2013

It's Not Mother's Day

This is my "It's Not Mother's Day" post.

After all, most days aren't Mother's Day, right? Also, I didn't post anything yesterday, or even leading up to Mother's Day to talk about the day. Clearly, it's a pretty big day for mothers, right? It's NAMED for us, after all!

Just in case you missed it - yesterday was Mother's Day. We celebrated our moms, and those of us who are moms were celebrated (or should have been, anyway). If you went to church, you were likely singled out (with the rest of the moms present), maybe got a flower, or applause, or something. Maybe at home you got breakfast in bed, flowers, a fabulous present, or just time with your awesome family.

And maybe you didn't.

I've seen many posts this year about moms who felt unappreciated, who wish their husbands or children would recognize them more, or who have been hurt in years past therefore didn't want to even think about the day. I've also read the "Mother's Day was invented by corporations as a day to just make money so I'm boycotting it" articles and blog posts, as well as many, many, articles on what it means to be a mom. I even saw some politically correct posts yesterday talking about it being "Birth Mother's Day", and they wanted to thank adoptive mothers for all they do, too.

Now, that's a gamut of thoughts and feelings about the day!

I guess I have thoughts of my own that run the gamut, so no wonder when you get opinions and thoughts from thousands of different people they can differ so greatly.

I've gone through different stages in my life on my thoughts about the day. When I was little, I couldn't wait for Mother's Day! I remember secretly planning with my sister and brother to wake super early to make mom breakfast in bed. I also remember Mother-Daughter Tea at church, which was a very formal affair and I don't remember much about it other than we got to dress up in our Easter finest and spend the afternoon with mom and grandma. It was splendid.

Then the teen years. I honestly don't remember much about how I felt about Mother's Day, other than that it was usually a time that we went out to lunch with Grandmas and Grandpas after church.

Move to early 20s. I had a fiance and was looking SO forward to being a mother! I remember being at work the night before Mother's Day, and one of the nurses got all the moms on shift a carnation. But not me. I wasn't a mom yet. I had never felt so hurt that I wasn't a mom. Wasn't I good enough? I was, after all, a future mommy. Didn't that count? Apparently not.

Jump forward about 8 years. I was 6-years-married, and had just found out I was pregnant a couple weeks earlier. My husband got home from work with a package for me on Mother's Day evening. It was my very first Mother's Day present. I had never felt such pure joy. I had done it (FINALLY)! I was a mother, and it was validated on the day designated for them. For mothers. For moms. For mommies.

I currently view Mother's Day as "our day". I like to think of myself as part of a kind of club - it's not a secret club. Just one that mommies are a part of that allows them to be understood by other mommies. And I don't mean just mommies that have physically given birth. I think grandmas, aunties, mommies of babies/children who are in heaven now, mommies of babies who never knew the light of day or their mommy's touch, friends, adoptive mommies, expectant mommies - basically anyone who has ever either conceived a child or has had a part in a child's upbringing - is part of this club.

As part of our day, I expect *something* special...whether that's a reasonable expectation or not, I still expect it. And frankly, I think all mommies should expect it. It's ok to expect it.

I don't, however, expect anything extravagant. Life isn't extravagant. Sure, diamonds, massages, clothing, and new kitchen appliances are nice, but you know what? Enjoying a homemade card, a picked flower from our garden and a colored-with-crayons/markers flower basket while spending the day with my kiddos and people I love is even more valuable than those other material things.

My Mother's Day gifts

You know what else? I get to spend almost every day with my kiddos, hubby, and others I love.

Are all those days perfect? Nope.

Are all Mother's Days perfect? Nope.

Does that suck? Yep. But it's life.

Thankfully, I get to make up for it with all my "it's not Mother's Days" in my life. Because seriously? My husband adores and appreciates me and my kids love me every day. Not just on Mother's Day.

I pray the same for you.

So, have a happy "It's Not Mother's Day" Day!


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