A few months ago I read an article on Associated Content from what appeared to be a frustrated and exhausted new mother. She seemed dead set on AP'ing which is fine and totally her choice, as we all do what we think is best. But the more and more I read the more I felt she wasn't supporting AP'ing as much as she was bashing it.
She complained of feeling tethered to her baby 24 with no break. Not eating because she was constantly doing something for baby. There was even an underlying tone that she felt trapped with not even her husband to help her out.
In other words, it sound like she hated AP'ing. It seemed as if she was only doing what others excpected of her. So I bring the following questions to our readers:
If you are "crunchy" is there pressuer to AP?
Are there downsides to AP'ing?
If you do or do not AP explain why.
I leave you with a link to the article to make your own conclusions about our "test subject" as well.
Let us know what you think!
1 comment:
I think people wanting to do AP need to learn what it's REALLY about. It's not about concentrating on your baby 24-7. That's doing AP "wrong". In fact, a big portion of Attachment Parenting is finding alternate caregivers who your child will be comfortable with, getting them comfortable with these caregivers, and giving Mom "Mommy Time".
I know AP Mom's who make a point of having a girl's night or spa day once a week in order to keep their health and happiness in check.
The API website lists this as one of the 8 Principles of AP:
"It is easier to be emotionally responsive when you feel in balance. Create a support network, set realistic goals, put people before things, and don't be afraid to say "no". Recognize individual needs within the family and meet them to the greatest extent possible without compromising your physical and emotional health. Be creative, have fun with parenting, and take time to care for yourself."
This is a very important element. If you are not taking this element in mind, you are not going to be happy and will not be giving your child a healthy situation. Mommy NEEDS "Mommy Time". Tell your friend that she needs to arrange a caregiver every now and then to give herself a break.
I am not a Mom, but I am an AP Mommy's Helper. I have two friends I visit for two hours a week to let Mom shower, shop, get a manicure, or whatever else she wants to do. I was also an AP nanny for two years. If you do it right, and stay flexible and have fun with it, it's a great parenting technique. If you take it all too seriously and strive to do everything perfectly (something API clearly says is nearly impossible and you need to stay open minded and flexible) you may find it to be a very beneficial and rewarding way to raise a baby.
Almost all of the AP Mommies I know are extremely happy and have wonderfully adjusted babies.
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