I'm Trying Not To Blink in My Over-Busy Life

Things these days are kinda wild around the DeWitt house.

I am (obviously) still your Elegant Mommy blogger, marketer, website lady, and all-around stuff-doer (just not usually in the store). I also work as a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor part time (usually I do that outside the home), and I now have a full clientele of doula clients for the first time since adding little Miss Ember to our family (back to life on call here in a week or so). I edit my husband's books and help with sales for that. 

We recently started homeschool again with the big kids.

I lead a group of beautiful young moms here in our community through my church.

Nursing the babe while editing my hubby's latest book

My handsome hubby has several speaking and selling engagements set up this fall as an author of some amazing books (I'm currently editing his latest book), and in addition to that he is getting more and more hours at his job and will be going full time in the near future.

And on top of it all, the baby is very quickly turning into a toddler - yikes!

This has been my view - she's walking all over!

She has been taking steps for several months now. It's been in the last couple weeks, though, that she's "gotten" it. She had an "aha" moment a few days before my brother's wedding a few weeks ago and has basically just gone for it. She pretty much starts walking wherever she goes and when she loses her balance will crawl the rest of the way. She is losing her balance later and later.......she's getting this whole walking thing down!

So, as we are busy on top of busy, there are some things that I have been thinking about lately, and I'm guessing some of you can relate.

1. Babies are simply amazing. Ok, so maybe I knew this already, but sometimes it really just strikes home, ya know? Knowing that this remarkable little person started off as just a couple cells a year and a half ago is nothing short of a miracle. She is a real human being, has a personality all her own (a pretty strong personality at that), and is finding her place in this family and the world. It's such a delight to get to watch. She is walking all over the place, is super lovey/kiss-y, and *always* wants to "help" mommy and daddy with dishes, laundry, etc (i.e. really likes to throw stuff on the floor)

2. Five year old boys are the best. Since becoming a big brother almost a whole year ago, Porter has seriously come "into his own." He has totally blossomed as a sweet human being and he's just simply an all-around good person. He is my little helper who loves toads, worms, getting really dirty (as I type this he is making mud puddles to jump in), and most of all, dinosaurs. Currently he has a whole herd of them that he takes almost everywhere and does his best to keep out of his baby sister's hands and mouth (usually unsuccessfully, by the way).

3. Seven year old second grade girls are too grown up. At least mine is. Our Miss V is so sweet and kind. She makes a new friend everyplace she goes. She would rather read, ride her bike, or swim more than almost anything in the world, and she has a heart of gold. She is our little encourager (always helping Porter with his sight-words in school and helping Ember accomplish anything that she is trying to do). She is my little mini-me and I seriously don't know what I would do without her - she is joy encompassed in a person.

4. Being a mom who has 537 different things going on in her life is really difficult. I usually feel like I have a multitude of "balls in the air" that if I step out of line or lose my balance, or you know - drop one, my entire everything will collapse. Because of that, I have felt like I'm not the mother that my amazing kiddos deserve. I feel like I have no idea how I can possibly get through this season in life without permanently scarring one of them or making them feel like I value my work more than I value them. I feel like even though my marriage and family is stronger than ever, I don't spend even close to enough time, nor do I give it adequate energy......mostly because I don't have any.

5. My family loves me unconditionally. Even though mommy doesn't have enough time to give them, and I'm tired most of the time, and I'm not at their disposal nearly as much as I used to be, they make me feel like a million dollars as soon as I walk back through the door. They understand that even though mommy is busy, I love them more than anything in this world and every spare second I have will be spent with them. Do they wish it was more? Of course (you know I do!). But they don't complain or whine or anything. And besides that, for now, they have their awesome daddy to fill in the slack that I bring....so, they are getting extra daddy time and are completely understanding of less mommy time for now.

6. I am SO glad that this will only be for a season. I have no idea how long I will be doing all that I'm doing. What I do know, is that it for sure won't be forever. I won't always have so little time to spend with my kiddos. I won't always have so much going on that I can't even remember what shoe size they wear. I won't always have so many things to juggle. But for now I do, and that's ok. 

I used to answer the well-meaning "how are you doing?" questions with a very flippant and not-thought-out "oh, you know, busy." kind of answer. I laugh at that answer now. From this point forward I will be much more thoughtful before using that word. Am I busy now? Oh, heavens yes. But life is always busy. In every stage of life, in every season I've been busy....they've all just been different kinds of busy.

For now I want to just focus on the time I actually do have. I'll continue to do my jobs well and give them everything I have, but when someone asks how I am doing I'm going to respond with something more like "enjoying my amazing life and time with my family, how are you?". Because that's what all of this is really about anyway....being with my family and loving watching the wonderful people our kiddos are growing into.

The joys of our world

I don't want to blink because I know it will be over, so instead of focusing on my busyness, I'm going to focus on them. These precious beings that God has given to me to mother while we are on this earth.

(And for now I'm going to try and not worry about what's going to happen when Randall goes to work full time......I know God will work it all out, so I'm leaving it up to Him.)

If you are OVERbusy like me, I pray that you are able to find some kind of balance and life in it. I know the struggle - I'm right here with you, but family and kiddos are WAY too important to not have our focus.

Hang in there mama - you, too, will get through this and you'll be better for it and stronger once you do!

Much love (from the trenches)

~Evie

I Needed to Laugh

Today has been a day.

A day where I have felt the pull of a million different things and had a hard time dealing with it.

A day where nothing I *wanted* to do was something that I could do.

A day where tears flowed just a little too freely - not for any other reason but that I'm an overly-emotional mama.

A day where I decided I seriously needed a laugh, and I thought maybe you might appreciate one too.

Enjoy:




Have a fantastic weekend full of smiles!

~Evie

Getting To Know Your Baby

Some new mamas aren't worried about pregnancy or the act of actually giving birth, they are more nervous about being a good mom. How will they know what is best for their baby? What if they do it wrong?

La Leche League has some thoughts and encouragement on the all-so-important aspect of getting to know your baby. Following is an excerpt from The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding:

Getting to Know Your Baby

Mothering is not something you can learn from a book. We can tell you, for instance, that most young babies like the secure feeling of being snugly wrapped up and cuddled. We can tell you that at about three months, most babies like company. They like to be propped up in the midst of the family. Instead of wanting to be fed or cuddled, what they often want is just to be sociable. The may be perfectly true observations for many babies - but your newborn may prefer to have his arms and legs free, or your three-month-old may be overstimulated by too much activity and end up feeling miserable. You have to be sensitive to the individual needs of your baby.

The sensitivity that helps you do the right thing at the right time comes from knowing your baby. It develops as you spend time with him, but it develops more quickly, and to a greater degree, if you are nursing your baby. The very closeness and intimacy of breastfeeding give you a quicker and surer perception of the feelings and needs of this tiny person, and help you to know how to meet them.

Ann Van Norman, a mother from Ontario, Canada, tells how breastfeeding helped her learn about her baby's needs:

I thought I had prepared myself for mothering before Sarah's birth. I learned about diapering, bathing, and breastfeeding, but there was no way to prepare for "mothering." I found out that mothering is only learned by doing. Learning to respond flexibly to baby's needs for love, care, and stimulation, putting our own desires on temporary hold, and accepting the constancy and intensity of baby's needs are lessons only learned by living them.

I believe nursing has helped make my learning relatively painless, mainly through the positive reinforcement I have received from Sarah. She showed me how much I was needed and loved. Nursing her meant that I had to take time to respond, relax, and reflect. I am a different person now. Sarah has changed me from a compulsive time-and-task-oriented tiger to a go-with-the-flow housecat.

Your joy in mothering grows as you experience the quick, strong feeling of affection so natural between a nursing mother and her baby; as you develop an understanding of your baby's needs and gain confidence in your own ability to satisfy them; and as you see the happy dividends from the good relationship as the baby grows. As one nursing mother, Shirl Butts, from Louisiana, expressed her feelings:

Those who have never nursed a child might find it hard to understand just how special a nursing relationship can be. Now as I nurse my second child, I can appreciate what I missed with my toddler, whom I did not nurse.

My favorite moments are just before bedtime, nursing my four-month-old daughter. We snuggle together in our rocking chair, her tiny mouth eagerly searching for the warmth of my milk, until at last she latches on and drifts into peaceful sleep. Her chubby little hand is outstretched on my arm, her cheek nestled against my breast. I continue to rock, lovingly studying every crease and fold of her soft body. Times like this make me look forward to the next night and the next. Sometimes she stops nursing to look up at me and give a big smile as if to say, "Thanks, Mom!" and then resumes nursing again. Those moments make me wish time would stand still.

Breastfeeding is not a guarantee of good mothering, and formula feeding does not rule it out. The most important thing is the love you give your baby and the fact that you are doing your best to be a good mother. Mary White, another of LLL's co-Founders, reminds us:

We're all learning, all the time. We're all still reaching up to the top of the ladder, and we've all got a long way to go. But for each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is out own baby; listen to him. Give to him; in the giving we are growing, as mothers and as women. As we watch him grow and thrive, we are watching an achievement we can really be proud of.

So keep doing what you're doing, mama - you're doing great! The more you keep trudging through the more you are going to learn, and the better mama you will be because of it.

And never ever forget that you've got a village here rooting for you! Join us on Wednesday this week for Milk Monologues at 1:00 pm and Thursday for the evening Milk Monologues (breastfeeding support group) at 6:30 pm. We are here for you and look forward to helping you in whatever way we can!

~Evie

The Best Thing About Breastfeeding is....

At the beginning of the month I asked our Facebook friends what their most favorite part of breastfeeding is. Since it's the last day of National Breastfeeding Month today I thought I'd share their thoughts with you here.

Stacey: The milky smiles :) OHH LOVED dream feedings!! NO waking up - well hardly anyway

Julie: Healthy gut flora for baby. And its super easy compared to bottles. And way cheaper too!

Hiedy: The bond my son and I share!! So special that it makes everything all better!!

Erin: The ease, the sweet snuggles, the calling for mamas... I love it all. 

Julie: Oh yes- and I can feed baby four times a night without ever getting out of bed. Pretty much everything!

Cassie: The bond!  and I love being the only one who can feed her. :)

Erin: Who can say no to extra cuddle time?

Dezzirae: The cuddles and the closeness 

Jennalee: I love the cuddles and the cute little face she makes!

Brandilyn: The snuggles, love and it's free! Plus I don't have to move an inch to burn calories lol

Katy: I love getting smacked by my over active 5 month old and the no guilt down time that I get every couple hours to snuggle and bond with my little man

Jennifer: stopping what I'm doing to nurse and just be for that time my little man needs his mama :)

BaLeigh: The cuddles along with that sweet milk breath! 

Marrisa: I could list all the health benefits, easiness, and that I wasn't a sleep deprived new mommy but nothing compares to the sleepy, milky, smiles.

Callie: Our time together!!

Kammie: The health benefits. I have no clue if my kids didn't get my asthma or have never had ear infections because of nursing. I know that it was the best thing for them and who knows what colds flus or other illnesses we avoided because of it.

Rachel: I love too many things about it to name just one thing :) i love that I get to have that special time with my babe, I love that I can fulfill his need for comfort and nutrition with just one action <3


I agree with everything these mamas said. There are so many things to love about breastfeeding that it's so hard to pick just one.

When I'm talking with expecting mamas about breastfeeding, the benefits it brings, and basically the "why" of it all, we go through all kinds of things - cost, ease, convenience, time savings, health benefits for mom and baby, etc, etc.

The benefit that I talk about as my favorite though? The bond and closeness that it brings.

I have a few things going on in my life (not unlike you, dear reader, I'm sure). I have a husband, 3 beautiful children that we homeschool, a young moms group that I lead, 2 jobs (this one I do at home and one outside of my home), doula clients, childbirth classes to teach, and lactation counseling clients...not to mention other family and friends whom I love dearly and want to purpose to keep in my life.

I think I've figured out how to juggle it all, but some days go much better than others. There are days where I literally feel like I have about 568 things to do: Calls coming in, texts, and Facebook messages, emails, lists and lists and lists of things. Some days I feel as if I am completely surrounded by different things that are all pulling me in different directions - literally pulling me and if I don't keep it all balanced, something is going to give and it's all going to collapse - I'm going to break something or drop a major ball and some sort of disaster that I could have prevented will befall the world. And on top of it all? The friggin baby is crabby beyond belief and needs to nurse. You've GOT to be kidding me!

But then I sit down to nurse, the after effects of which are almost astounding.

She snuggles in. Latches. Oxytocin starts flowing.

It feels like a remarkable wave washing over me (I can seriously feel it) where all the outside pressures melt away and all that there is in the world is me and my baby. I don't give a rip about deadlines or questions that need to be answered, or emails that need a response, or the mess on the floor, or anything else that might be demanding my attention. If even for just a few minutes, she and I are in our own little piece of heaven on earth. The place where she's getting exactly what she needs from me - comfort, health, nutrition. The place where I'm getting everything I need from her - the knowledge that I'm doing what is best for our precious little one and the assurance that everything else can wait for a few minutes. The world certainly won't end and I will still have time to get what I need done (usually, anyway *wink* ). I'll be refreshed and rejuvenated. She'll be happily satisfied with a full tummy of the best food in the world.

And I'm the one who can give it to her - just me.

What could be better than that?

~Evie

Keep nursing!

Becoming a Mother

As National Breastfeeding Month winds down this week, I just want to share some lovely thoughts from La Leche League on becoming a mother.

This is an excerpt from The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding:

A Special Journey

During early pregnancy, your baby's development is nothing short of remarkable. Eighteen days after he is conceived, his heart is beating. About the fourth month or so of your pregnancy, you feel the flutter, the unmistakable stirring that is like no other. It's the revelation of a new life. Your body changes to meet your baby's needs. There's the swelling readiness of your breasts, the expanding cradle of your womb. You are beautiful, as lovely as a tree that is heavy with fruit.

During the last trimester - the seventh, eighth, and ninth months - you may be impatient, eager to complete this stage and have the baby. Then, often when you least expect it, you feel a twinge. And another. The time is here. Mingled relief and anticipation can bring a catch in your throat. Today, sometime soon, your baby will be born!

The doctor or midwife is contacted, and the preliminary details are taken care of. You settle down to the work of giving birth. This day is like no other, and your mind, your whole body, centers on the process that is taking over inside of you.

The birth force rises, swells as a great wave, peaks, and recedes. You try to concentrate on relaxing, on willing your muscles to cooperate. In the welcome interim between contractions, there's time to rest.

The tempo quickens. Contractions are strong, they come quickly. You've probably never worked harder in your life. Labor is a fitting term! Just when you're most likely to feel exhausted and discouraged, you hear the reassurance of those who are with you - "Don't give up! We'll soon have a baby!"

And, at last, there is the moment you've been waiting for all those months, the bursting forth, the moment of blessed birth! As you catch your breath, you hear his cry. Was a sound ever before so priceless?

The umbilical cord is cut, marking the first separation. Who is to bridge this change of worlds for your newborn, who will soothe him and let him know he is again secure? Who better than his mother?

Again your body cradles him. You touch him, kiss his cheek, stroke his damp little head. Will he nurse? Perhaps. At some time within the first hour or so he will take the breast. You hold him close and he nuzzles your breast. His tiny mouth grasps your nipple. It seems no less than amazing! You and your baby can relax. After the enormous effort of giving birth, this is sweet reward.

Without thought or conscious effort on your part, your milk will come. You can look beyond to the many days together as a nursing couple. The security and warmth of your arms, the ready comfort of your milk, the familiar smell and pulse of your body are all precious food to fill out your baby's body and quicken his mind and spirit. Such accomplishments take time. But is there a more awe-inspiring task? This is the ageless beauty of mother and child - a time of grace and peace.

You'll hug him to you, intensely aware of his dependence upon you. Of course he will grow, reach out, and eventually leave you. But not for a while. Give yourself time together; let there be no regrets. Together you'll begin to weave a new cord to replace the one so recently severed. This one will be plaited simply and naturally by your continuing closeness through many unhurried days. Not to be cut, it will form the first link to all human love and understanding. 

But perhaps, instead of the natural birth you prepared for, you have a cesarean delivery. Or the months of waiting are not long enough, and the baby arrives prematurely, to be whisked away for specialized care. For the moment there is little sense of rapport with the baby.

These things happen. They may slow down a mother and baby's start as a nursing couple, but they need not end it. Given the right support, mothers and babies have untold levels of strength and adaptability. Mothers through the ages have happily breastfed their babies, and you can do it, too.

The groundwork is laid before your baby is born. Nothing is more important in your advance planning than your preparation for breastfeeding. There is no better time to start than now.

Happy breastfeeding!

~Evie

Rewards for YOU!

Did you know that Elegant Mommy has a Rewards Program?

It's kind of awesome, really.

All you need to do is come into the store and make a purchase and we will give you a card to fill out with some basic information. On the back of the first card there are eight boxes and every time you make a purchase we fill in how much you spent in one of the boxes. When the first card is full, you become an Elegant Mommy VIP, which comes with benefits throughout the year, and you get 5% of the total amount spent as store credit to use however you want! For every subsequent card filled you only have six spaces AND you get 10% back of the total amount spent!

This program is just one of the ways that you get back when you shop locally! As a small company who cares about our community, we strive to always give back. Besides the loyalty rewards, you get customized service, knowledge and help from employees who care, not to mention the satisfaction of supporting a small local business who constantly strives to give back to the community.

What are our customers saying about our rewards program?

I just don't know where to start :). I learned about Elegant Mommy shortly after having our son, and I just love it! With the rewards program, it is just great!  I have purchased numerous items, and it is just awesome when I fill up my card!!  Collin loves the items especially his "softies" blankets from there!  Most recently with my rewards I was able to not only purchase a few baby gifts but also used my rewards to get a few extras for the new mommies!!!  More so though I love coming into the store with Collin and visiting with the friendly and knowledgable staff :).  All the opportunities for furthering my knowledge for him!!!!  I am just grateful that I found such a wonderful shop, with great employees that also has great rewards for shopping locally!!!  ~Liz S

I really am surprised the amount I got back from the Rewards Program. If I am going to buy cloth diapers anyway, I might as well get some sort of incentive. And I was able to get close to $60 back to spend. I know if I purchased from a person or another business I probably wouldn't have gotten that. ~Danielle

Elegant Mommy's rewards program has been amazing. It is so generous of them to offer their customers a chance to get a little something extra as a thank you for shopping with them. This is one of the bonuses of shopping locally. I also appreciate the willingness of Elegant Mommy's staff to work with my husband in utilizing my filled rewards card to help him pick out a *perfect* Mother's Day present. That personalized service and attention is rare these days and it is just one of the many reasons that we love to shop at EM! ~Beth 

So, come on in and get your rewards started TODAY!

~Evie

It's Not About the Trees

I have such a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I absolutely adore the "dog days of summer" and all the wonderful-ness that goes along with it...fresh produce, warm days with just a hint of fall that's right around the corner (hip hip hooray!!). The thing that's tough for me, though? School starting. At least this year it is....

Why you ask?

Well, because I'm just a big ole hot mess of emotions, and honestly it's hard for me to see pictures of all the beautiful children of my friends and look at pictures from the beginning of our school last year and not get just a little choked up. I mean, why on earth does this all have to keep going SO fast?!

I look at my beautiful oldest daughter Vienna. She's going into 2nd grade.

Did you hear me?! SECOND grade!

It's just not possible - she was a sweet toddler learning her ABCs last week, and it was about 2 days ago that I was stressing about figuring out what to do for our homeschool curriculum and what our days would look like. Now I feel like we're "seasoned" homeschoolers and pretty much have things figured out...well, almost - ha!

She has grown up exponentially in the past year. She would rather do almost nothing than read or draw/color....except ride her bike, of course, and play with her brother and baby sister. She is just SO grown up. I don't know what happened.

And then I look at the changes in our tenderhearted Porter over the past year. Man, oh man, has he "come into his own". He's opened up, lost SO much timid-ness, and seriously can make friends any place we go now. He's not just riding on his sister's coattails anymore...HE finds friends on his very own. It's kind of awesome to see.

I love watching their interests grow and mature as they find what they love and pursue it.

And don't even get me started on the baby. Can it really be? Is she for real 10 months today? I think back to a year ago and where I was in pregnancy and what we were doing and how I was feeling. It's amazing the change that just one year can bring.

But that's just it.

It's a FULL year. We are all a year older. 365 day wiser.

So why does it seem like it's only been a week?

I mean, I've got a full year of memories. I KNOW it's really been that long. Yesterday I was looking at a family photo we did right after Ember was born and I was in shock at how young the older kids looked. Then it occurred to me how long it had actually been.

I don't know. Maybe I'm all gooey emotional because Ember is 10 months today. Maybe it's because my baby brother is getting married next weekend. Maybe I'm hormonal.

Or maybe I'm like this because I somehow feel like I'm missing it.

I'm guessing other moms feel this way sometimes, too. I think I'm just feeling like I can't "see the forest because the trees are in the way", know what I mean? All of the day's details, work, food, diapers, tangled hair, spilled milk, piles of laundry, more work, etc are getting in my way of seeing and absorbing the joy of the season of life that we are currently in.

Life is busy.

I need to remember to enjoy it and see the whole thing....not just the trees.

~Evie